Next came a truly below the belt attack from Justin Bieber, Bloom’s nemesis, who immediately conspired to get his genitalia plastered all over the worldwide web.
The vacationing trio was snapped by the paparazzi, to the delight, fascination, and/or mild disappointment of anyone with an internet connection.
Weiner Watch 2k16 began when Orlando Bloom decided to take his dick-and Katy Perry-out for a paddleboard ride. We’ve been breaking phallic news from the frontlines all summer long aka looking at Twitter with our eyes. But while famous penises have historically remained reclusive, this summer marks a rare instance of male genitalia taking center stage. In the entertainment world, dicks have always been behind-the-scenes heavyweights-casting 18-year-old Victoria’s Secret models in blockbuster films, writing magazine profiles of female celebrities, and generally reproducing the patriarchy. In case you missed it, Twitter has basically devolved into Harambe memes and reaction GIFs to Orlando Bloom’s pee n. The internet has decided to quench this thirst with a sea of celebrity D, making it one of the sexiest (and most morally repugnant?) summers in social media history. The summer is almost over, the temperature keeps rising, and swimmer abs have us feeling some type of way. August: the thirstiest month of the year.
